… behemoth beards bereft of all mustachios

And then the baby begins to sway. The ghost whirr of the AC dying hard in our ears, we’ve grown paralytically hot in the living room, some whiff of something gunpowder-like coming through the window, and all of life suddenly, wrongfully without power. Somewhere not far mephitic men with weapons must be raising those black flags marked with the statement of the faith in white rudimentary abjad, behemoth beards bereft of all mustachios, shrieking their support for the President of the Second Republic. Before long, enraged guevaras will be heading straight for the fuckers. They will be wielding slogans as they die of what, through rev-o-lution, they have brought upon themselves. The streets are quiet except for gun shots sounding a slow beat when the baby slithers off her mother’s lap and crawls to the center of the room, quarreling with balance and gravity until, plump legs ending in all but edible feet in two arches across a few square inches of the carpet, she is sitting. Her miniature fists grab invisible parallel bars as she rocks to and fro, up and down, shaking her head along the opposite axis and humming a crude rhythm in the candlelight. When she notices us notice her, she gathers speed. While she sways she is neither crying nor laughing her high, raucous laugh, the one that comes with a flurry and directionless shaking of the limbs. Now, as she rocks with martial regularity, her face is dead serious. This is evidently a matter of great importance; it must be done in a professional spirit. And then the father too rises, finally, wading in the humidity to the nearest flat surface, a closed door, where he manages to stand. And, taking my cue from a gun shot, my wife clapping along with me, the baby like a pendulum while Egypt burns, I begin to drum.

From Waiting for Civil War: an iPhoneography work in progress

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City of Kismet

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Unconsciously, it seems, I had waited a lifetime for Kismet. This was not my first attempt at a family of my own but, though I never resisted the idea, one way or another, fatherhood had eluded me. And for some reason I never thought I would have a daughter. When the sex of the foetus emerged relatively late in my wife’s pregnancy, I was unaccountably emotional; for the first time since childhood I experienced a desire wholly voided of lust. Life seemed to be coming together, albeit only once its setting had been transformed.

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Three Girls on Mother’s Day ❀ ثلاث بنات في عيد الأم

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الشخص الثالث
“نملية” مطبخها عامرة بالمسلّمات. لكن هناك دُرجاً أعمق من إحساسها بالصواب، مخصصاً لبذرة الرجل الذي ترى في وجهي كيف خيّب رجاءها قبل أن يموت (لولا ضرورة الخروج من بيت أهلها، لماذا كانت ستحمل بذرة هذا الرجل بالذات؟ ولولا أنه يرى الإنجاب جريمة، هل كانت ستكتفي بطفل واحد؟) في شعلة سخان الغاز-مصانع القوات المسلحة، نفس غيظها من “دش” مؤجل منذ أدركتْ أن هذا الرجل، فتى أحلامها الوحيد الممكن، يراوده الانتحار. وبماذا كانت تحس وأنا أستنشق النهد العبقري لحبيبة تكرهها في الغرفة المجاورة؟ حين تكتشف كم من النقود أنفقتُ في ليلة واحدة، وأكون لازلت نائماً في الرابعة مساءً، تغضب على رَجُلِها قبل أن “تلوشني”. ويظل تشنّج نبرتها حتى يذوب القرف على وجهها في حزن يكبرني بثلاثين عاماً. أتذكر أنها فعلاً أحبته، ولا شيء بعده في البيت أكبر منها سناً. فأسترجع التنهيدة التي ترسلها كل ليلة وهي تُخرج الزبالة، متفننة في حماية الأكياس البلاستك من القطط الجائعة حتى لا يتسخ مدخل الشقة التي لم تكن أبداً برجوازية بما يواكب تطلعاتها. وأسأل نفسي بحيرة: هل يقرّبنا أم يبعدنا الميت الواقف وراء الباب؟

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Interface/Sigstop: An Iphoneography Mini-Exhibition + Excerpts from J. G. Ballard’s “What I Believe”

… derelict filling stations (more beautiful than the Taj Mahal) …

What I Believe – J.G. Ballard

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Blueprints: a mini exhibition

blueprint |ˈblo͞oˌprint|
noun
a design plan or other technical drawing.
• something that acts as a plan, model, or template: a vague blueprint for fundamental land redistribution.
verb [ with obj. ]
draw up (a plan or model): (as adj. blueprinted) : a neatly blueprinted scheme.
ORIGIN late 19th cent.: from the original process in which prints were composed of white lines on a blue ground or of blue lines on a white ground.